I've recently been observing a group of people in a retail store. Over the past few months, trust and team spirit have been badly eroding away. One of the things that stands out to me most vividly is a lot of fickle behavior and talk.
The store manager, some assistant managers, and other team members have developed a bad habit of what many describe as "Talking one way to your face and another way behind your back." The store manager -- who has only been a store manager for a short time -- is struggling with communication and morale issues among the team members. What he seems unaware of is the way such "double-mindedness" undermines the desire of his employees to openly share information with him about problems and opportunities to improve the store's operations.
He is often heard talking about employees who are not at work and saying things such as "So-and-so is just complaining because she is lazy." That's the sort of comment he makes when she is away from the store; however, when people overhear him talking to her at the store, the conversation is much different -- he talks to her as if he supports her position while belittling OTHER employees who are not present. Such conduct has helped to rapidly undermine this manager's credibility.
Subconsciously (sometimes consciously) people take this sort of behavior as evidence of being unworthy of trust. The employees are not nearly as likely to confide in this manager because they suspect (with good reason) that he will act supportive to their face, but as soon as they are out of earshot he'll be bad-mouthing them for having spoken up. They figure if he's doing it to everyone else, he's going to do it to them too. And the same thing is happening to everyone who acts in this manner, which is rampant in this store.
A simple rule of self-leadership is to be loyal to the absent. If you feel someone else has a problem, discuss it with them (preferably in private) and stringently avoid talking negatively about that same employee or teammate to their coworkers. Practicing this consistently will demonstrate to everyone on the team that you can be trusted and that you respect all the team members enough to help them preserve their dignity -- even if they have made a mistake or done something wrong. And always, always, always "Praise in public and punish in private."
share on: facebook
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Great point Dan. I always notice when people speaking differently about someone in the 3rd person than they do in the 2nd person. It is a sign of wimpiness, pusillanimity and weakness.
ReplyDeleteI love the term "loyalty to the absent." Great thought.
Isn't it amazing, though? People will disregard the simplest principles of courtesy and respect and then wonder why they are having so many leadership problems. The underlying problem is so often that people are promoted into management based on seniority and technical skills without equal emphasis on people skills. Management is purely technical. But leadership starts with the heart.
ReplyDeleteDan,
ReplyDeleteBeing a great leader is absolutely one of the simplest things in the world to do. One of the core tenets is as BASIC as always treating people in the way you like to be treated. There is just something about being labeled "manager' that makes people forget the obvious. Ego, authority, who knows. If you never lose sight of what it was like when you sa in that chair, or stood behind that counter you will do just fine! Credibility is a leader's greatest capital...this new manager is already bankrupt!
Good posting Dan - Any leader talking about others in a derogatory way in their absence is immediately off the scale on poor leadership. A leader worth his/her salt will always talk directly to individuals about issues of performance.
ReplyDeleteIt is all "basic" and it seems like good sense and common sense would stick, but so often it doesn't. Back to my earlier contention that you put as much emphasis on people skills as the technical skills when putting people in management positions, because that is the primary differentiator between having a "manager" and having a "leader." Leaders can often be found and taught the management skills, but it's exponentially harder to do things the other way around.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog. Just discovered it. I love "Be loyal to the absent." A related rule is "Complain only to someone who can do something about it" - as opposed to "behind their back."
ReplyDeleteJohn,
ReplyDeleteExcellent point. Closely ties in with Stephen Covey's notions of the "circle of influence" vs. the "circle of concern." A lot of people take his words to mean "Ignore the things that aren't in someone else's circle of influence," when the appropriate thing to do is to find the right person and step inside THEIR circle of influence. Then choose to communicate WITH them and not just ABOUT them.